Looking before the leap part II

Being overwhelmed as an adoptive parent can happen easily, even in the best of circumstances. With an older institutionalized child, parents can find themselves facing behaviors that may be completely alien to them which in turn can cause serious damage to the entire family.

Here are a few more things that prospective adoptive parents should be aware of when making the decision to adopt an older institutionalized child.

Promo Video #1

Inside A Childrens Institution

Attachent Disorder

Many people have heard the term “Attachment Disorder” but it is another thing to truly live with an attachment disordered child. Many children who have lived in institutional settings have some attachment issues and they may be pronounced enough to be labeled an “attachment disorder” or in other words, there is a continuum from mild to severe attachment problems. Parents coping with related behaviors may be physically and emotionally exhausted from trying to connect with their child. They often report feeling like they are met with opposition, defiance, or indifference. Attachment disordered children, or those with insecure attachment, lack the skills necessary to build meaningful relationships. These are issues of trust at the deepest of levels, including physiological signs of distrust. Often body language—even the inability to relax and be hugged and failure of eye contact—are signs. In time, attachment related behaviors can translate into deep feelings of rejection and even post-adoption blues for a parent as they realize that a loving parent-child relationship is challenged.
Seriously attachment disordered children also may have more than problems of indifference. They may exhibit anti-social behaviors like hurting pets or other children in the home. Their failure to bond and develop a mutually caring relationship plays itself out in ways that can even frighten families. For example, some families have actually “feared” their children—this is exhausting and may you may find yourself coping with behaviors that are hard to believe. Some families worry about their children being a danger to others and this is a case in which calling on professional help will be essential.

Looking before the leap, Part I

The primary goal of this documentary is for prospective parents to know exactly what unique challenges they face when the decision is made to adopt an older institutionalized child.

Intercountry adoption can be an amazing experience and it is not uncommon for us to see happy and well-adjusted families which have been built in this manner. However, adopting and older and institutionalized child has particular challenges and we begin with the idea of “RESPONSIBILITY AND COMMITMENT” because that is where you need to start as you consider your readiness to adopt. It is important to note that institutionalized children are not typically babies and they are older children who have a set of experiences which shape their world view, their behaviors, and their ability to adapt to a family environment—especially those children who have lived in a traditional child institution setting, often called orphanages.